Like this:

Oh, what have I gotten myself into???

I found a new online site, specifically targeted at single parents. I created a free account the other day. And nearly immediately started getting “flirts” and emails. But I couldn’t read them because I hadn’t paid for their service! You can look around for free, but you can’t contact (or see contacts from) anyone until you pony up some cash. So, my curiosity got the best of me (damn me!) and I decided to go for a one month membership, which still set me back almost $20.

I eagerly checked the message portion of my account to see…….emails from men in Canada, Arizona, Washington and Wisconsin. I’d like to remind you that I live in New England. In the United States. I added a statement to my profile after this saying that I was not into the long distance thing – please be sure we are a reasonable driving distance away. I’ve seen more than a couple of men say in their profiles that distance is no object to find love. Well, it’s a very big object for me, at least especially in the online world.

One local man did email me, and we chatted briefly using that site’s instant messaging feature. I knew when he said he had “too girls”, asked “what you name” and “want to get cofie later” that this was not the man for me. Spelling doesn’t count in IM, but that usually refers to typos rather than displaying your complete inability to write the English language. Call me picky, I’m OK with that.

Overnight I got two new emails from men via Plenty of Fish, where I hadn’t gotten any response in quite awhile. Both said some variation of “Wow, you are really attractive.” While I’m happy to have someone think so, I don’t expect that to be the be-all, end-all of your first interaction with me. And it was. I have exchanged a few emails, and since some instant messaging, with one of those men. Again, the spelling is atrocious. I asked what he was looking for and he responded, “long term.” I pressed on – what qualities are you looking for? He said, “I’m interested in what’s in someone’s  heart.” <Reminder: this is the man whose first communication to me was completely about what I looked like, and nothing regarding the content of my profile.> Finally he said, “are you loving and caring?” I said that I think most people would describe themselves that way, including me. He seemed absolutely thrilled to hear this. Trying to dig a little deeper I asked him for his top three favorite movies. Any guesses as to his answers? Aw, I’ll just tell you: American Pie, Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours. I know those are “guy” movies. I’ve seen, and even enjoyed, them all. But top three? No way.

He said, “I am beginning to like you already,” and I’m thinking, “Why??” So I asked him, “What makes you think we would be a good match?” <Too snarky? I was feeling it, but he didn’t seem to notice.> He said, “Because you like the Pats and Sox and that you like romance.” Point of Order: I never said I liked romance. It’s not that I don’t like romance (does anyone not like romance?), but I would never say so, certainly not using the actual word “romance.”

He then asked me my New Year’s Eve plans (a first date on New Year’s Eve? I don’t think so) and luckily I already have plans. With friends. He then asked if I’d like to get together after the holidays. I hovered my fingers over the keyboard a bit before saying “I’m afraid I don’t think we have that much in common. I’m sorry.” He never responded.

My lesson of the day: There are a lot of guys out there I have zero interest in.

I think I may take a break until January.

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